Never predicted this. Well, I didn't predict all of my relationships tho. But, this could be the most coincidence of all.
I hope, we could get along well.
Why am I here when I actually really need to do my assignments.
Anyway, maybe two hours ago, my big brother asked me and my mom a simple psychological question. He asked our three most favorites animals. I answered with cats, dogs, and spiders. He laughed when he heard spiders came out from my mouth. Turned out, the animals indicated personality.
The first animal is how we wanted our life to be. Mine is cats, and yes, I really want to be reborn as a cat. Living in such a leisure is my dream. Next is how people see us. Mine is dogs and my mom said it fit me well. She said that I look cute and fluff and stuff but I actually could make people terrified of me. Well, so maybe I'm a malamute because who said malamute is not cute? The last one, the last animal indicate how we see ourselves. I chose spider and my brother asked why. So, I answered him that I love spider because a spider is calm, composed and stuff but whenever its prey is coming over, it would catch it immediately. My mom and brother agreed at that. They said I'm kinda dangerous because I tend to trap people (lol). My mom also said that I actually am a hard worker that work a bit everytime that eventually pile up ( I don't really think so tho), just like a spider.
Well, maybe I am a spider. I do always love spider tho. I can still remember how I love looking at spider when I was a little. I also love the way it trapped its prey; yeah I also love feeding spiders with ants.
Conclusion, beware of me if you don't want me to catch you in my trap and suck your soul.
Hey, can you tell me how to differentiate between having a crush and falling in love?
Hey, do you think falling in love is such a normal thing to occur in life?
Hey, do you think falling in love, at first sight, is such a logical thing?
Anyway, I think I am falling in love.
I AM SUPER HAPPY THAT I DECIDED TO WATCH THE MATCH.
Not only because the match was super exciting and amazing but also because I got someone to watch with me. He was cute omg
Anyway, the game between Smasa Blitar versus Kosayu was superb, you totally could not predict thing. At one time Smasa lead, then Kosayu, then Smasa again and it loop. But really, it was super cool. They made a 40 minutes game to almost three hours. Yeah, that made me stand for three hours because all the seats are full, literally, not even an inch of free space.
The bad side was, I could not watch the dances :((( Because the person I'm going with was kinda late picking me up and I can't go inside because the whole supporters of Kosayu are not allowed to enter and they were blocking the gate (cries) BUT MY JUNIORS WON THE DANCE COMPETITION THO SO IT WAS GREAT. OH AND ALSO MY SCHOOL GOT THE AWARD FOR BEING THE BEST SUPPORTER AGAIN, FOR THE SEVENTH TIME.
Ugh, I'm so happy ❤
Today, I went to watch DBL. It's a big basketball tournament and dance competition for high school.
I was really excited. I was also there last year, on the floor, dancing with my team. That's why I'm looking forward to this event.
I went to the place where it was held together with my high school mate. Traffic jam, as predicted. But it was not really that bad. Anyway, when I reached the gym, it was packed. Full of humans. Not the amount I would like to meet. It was really hot too and I forgot to use sunscreen. The worse, it didn't fit the schedule and was delayed for like, an hour. Cool isn't it. I hate it.
When I finally got inside, it was already packed, of course. I could not even find a seat on the stand my high school was supposed to sit. So, I went and sit on the other side, which is the rival's stand so I was kinda forced to sit in the upper corner. It was not bad because I could see the whole court that way/
Turned out, it was a great decision. I could see my high school students cheering on my basketball team and it was superb. They were so unified, I love it so much. Never knew it was that loud. Good things happened again. I met my senior which I adore so much (lol). I was really happy that I could see him even though he was with his girlfriend.
But, the match, it was somehow disappointing. Not because they lost, but because I didn't feel the bonds. It was not a good game. I am an outsider, never played basketball before nor I understand about this sport. But I know which one is a good team and which one is not. My boys were not good enough. They looked confused. They looked like they don't know what they are doing. They seemed rushed. My favorite boy too didn't look like himself. He seemed down, not like his usual kinda fast-aggressive play.
The opposing team, they were great. But, not that great. They were like, kinda on par with my boys, only a slightly better. But they got teamwork and also they somehow emitting dangerous. It felt like they were monsters stopping on rabbits. It was a chaos.
On the other side, the girls were cool. They danced their hearts out. I could not even find the miss, it was fantastic. I could feel their aura. The theme was vampire and they could bring out the scary atmosphere. Their expression was wonderful too, I could not blink my eyes. They succeeded. A standing applause for my girls.
I went home during the blackout of the second game. The gym sucks. Two technical electricity mistakes and a lot of flaws on the court. Really, holding this event here is such a great mistake. Not only the place is small, also the facilities are lacking.
Anyway, even though my friends said that it would be hard for them to advance in the match, I still wish at least they still could maintain their position and advance to fantastic four. It would be nice if you boys listen to your coach and start to depend on each other. Basketball is a team play, not a me play, okay? For the dancer, I'm positive you all can go to Arena! Just keep your spirit and go slay them all!
It was a pity that the buzzer beater didn't happen even though it was really close to happen but good luck, everyone!
xoxo
With a ton of loves and supports from your alumna, Inggum.
At what age do you want to marry? It would be around 27-ish for me. Or it could be anytime when I found the love of my life who could feed me for at least 1000 years and gave me freedom 24/7 to do things I like. Or it's JC Chasez or Fukushi Sota who proposed to me.
Actually, I write this because of this phenomena in my social media life, a 17 years old boy marrying a girl that only turned 20. Well, he is a son of a famous ustadz so, probably that's why the government allowed it even though a man needs to be at least 19 to marry in this freaking crazy country.
I hate how this just married boy promoting n i k a h m u d a.
I don't care if he marries in such a young age, he can because looks like he is prepared financially and maybe mentally idk and he got his ustadz father backing him up, but please don't freaking promote it.
"Early marriage is good so you could avoid zinah"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR TWISTED LOGIC AND YOUR INABILITY TO RESIST YOUR DESIRE.
Marriage is not only about legal sex by God, okay????????? It takes a lot of things. Actually you can always have a romantic relationship without any sexual desire, really. If your sexual drive is really that much, then try to calm it down. Resist it, don't be a jerk. Or just satisfy it with your hands or those toys available online.
And what I hate the most is he and those islamic accounts that promoting ta'aruf. Yeah, the freaking traditional one. Fuck you. Going out for years still won't promise you a happy marriage and you tell us to only know our partner from story only??? Where's the logic, bruh? It's 2k16 AD not 2k16 BC.
"You can get to know of your partner during the marriage"
AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF (S)HE WERE A PSYCHO WHO ABUSED YOU 24/7???
This bigotry really needs to stop.
Anyway, I don't believe in the happiness of marriage. I believe in the sorrowfulness of marriage. Well, it's not that I don't want to marry. I want to marry, only if I am ready to accept all of those sorrowfulness. Physically and mentally. Oh, and of course financially.
Marriage could be fun, happy, lovely, but that could only last for a moment. The only left are: responsibility, commitment and of course, a lot of troubles and pains.
I could say that I never found a perfect married couple. Everyone's marriage suck. My parent's especially. Maybe that's why I don't like the idea of m a r r i a g e.
Actually, living together with my boyfriend is enough for me.
Conclusion:
Please
Don't
Marry
in
Such
a
Young
Age
Sebentar lagi, kurang lebihh sebulan lagi sih, aku bakal menjadi seorang mahasiswa. Tidak, aku tidak akan mempermasalahkan tentang istilah "maha-siswa", meski sejujurnya aku ingin. Namun bukan itu yang ingin kubicarakan di post ini.
Aku sedang ingin membahas tentang "Orientasi Studi dan Pengenalan Kampus" atau lebih sering kita kenal dengan OSPEK.
Sampai saat ini aku masih mempertanyakan tentang esensi dari sebuah kegiatan yang bernama ospek ini. Selama ini aku hanya pernah mendapatkan pengalaman dari MOS (Masa Orientasi Sekolah) saat SMP dan MPLS (Masa Pengenalan Lingkungan Sekolah) saat SMA. MOS SMP-ku jujur, sangat tidak terstruktur dan tidak berkesan. MPLS? Wow, sangat berkesan namun yah, seandainya dikemas tanpa pressing kurasa esensinya akan lebih terasa. Karena tugas-tugas yang diberikan sebenarnya benar-benar beresensi namun mungkin karena waktu yang terbatas jadi tidak bisa maksimal.
Kali ini, masa orientasi sebagai syarat untuk menjadi mahasiswa. Okelah, wajar tugasnya banyak, kan sudah mahasiswa. Tidak masalah kok tugas-tugasnya berupa entah berapa banyak esai, karena meski sebenarnya tidak berguna untuk saat itu hitung-hitung untuk latihan mengerjakan tugas kuliah nantinya.
Tapi, tunggu. Bukannya tugas seperti itu seharusnya dikerjakan sendiri ya? Menggunakan otak serta tangan masing-masing individu. Namun, kenapa ada kakak-kakak tingkat yang jualan tugas ospek ya?
Oh mungkin, itu cara baru untuk mencari bahan pressing. Mereka mendata siapa-siapa saja yang membeli jasa tersebut dan menandai nama-nama itu.
Eh, tapi kok yang jualan peralatan ospek banyak ya? Masa sudah ada lima akun yang menampakkan dirinya di instagramku. L i m a loh l i ma. Kalau satu atau dua sih tidak aneh, karena mungkin memang sesuai pradugaku di atas, tapi kalau sampai lima (atau mungkin lebih) akun? Pasti ada yang tidak beres.
Tentu saja, para oknum ini sudah beroperasi sejak entah berapa lama, aku tidak tahu, tapi yang jelas, sudah cukup lama. Namun, masih tetap saja ada. Mereka bahkan berani memajang testimoni-testimoni di akun instagram mereka. W O W.
Aku tidak habis pikir.
Apa iya, ospek sekarang tidak hanya sebagai sarana untuk memperkenalkan maba kepada universitas namun juga sebagai lahan untuk mencari uang?
Oh mungkin itu mengapa banyak sekali tugas yang diberikan.
Biar kating dapat uang jajan banyak juga.
Lucifer, Mammon, Asmodeus, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Satan and Belphegor. Seven of them, each represents a deadly sin; Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath and Sloth.
"They could talk bad
I won't care at all
No, no, no
I'm chill, don't worry
No, no, no
Of course it won't affect me
No, no, no
I am perfectly fine"
I said that, yesterday
I said that, before I realized
It was my friends,
who said it all
I laughed
I cried
I got angry
and at the very end of my scream
I heard him saying,
"Sst...
Shall I cut their neck off their heads for you, dear?"
PS: Yeah, I symbolize her wrath at the very end of her scream, that satan would make her kill them all. Kinda inspired by awkarin's drama, thanks awkarin for giving me inspiration.
How do you do?
I wish you get what's best for you.
Because I just got one so I really hope you all got one too.
Have you ever read my post titled "Future"? If you had, then maybe you'll be surprised here. Really. Because I just enrolled into a literature major instead of interior/architecture, even tho my first choice was interior.
Depressed? No! I am super happy!
Honestly, I still dream of being a cool interior designer that show on tv but maybe this way I could be become those behind the scene, which is my another dream.
I just made my lemon into lemonade and I'm super excited to taste it.
So, if you live in Indonesia and live in an environment which the majority is moslem, I bet you are flooded with breaking-fast-together-gathering thingy around this time, especially if you have a lot of friends/organization. I have only through this trend for like three years but, yeah, I am fed up with this. I even try to avoid it all because hey, what's so fun about that? Well, it's pointless unless it's your true squad.
I just had one several days ago and it was, meh. It's supposed to be my former class gathering but all I got is only a bit chit-chat with my former close classmates--not everyone--and that's all. Oh, don't forget the eating part tho which is just a normal eating session. After eating? Everyone leave, of course. There's an after party which I somehow got into but hey it was the only fun part I had that day because
The point of me writing this is: what is the point of gathering if you don't have enough interaction with each other?
Sometimes I just wanted to be asked out to have a date with someone. Actually it's creepy if you never knew him especially here, in Indonesia, where nowadays every relationship began with massive chatting 24/7. But I just want to try it out.
Actually, I once failed my first date with my crush (which I thought would work but meh). I was so nervous and thanks to the chatting thingy I kind of run out of topic and ended up as a dumb girl not being able to say anything. It was so awkward and what made it worse was: the guy I went out with is also a really quiet guy if you didn't know him that well. Disaster. Really.
This post is pointless (as always) but I always dreamed about having a cute shoujo-manga like date.
Things like waiting him to arrive in some meeting point instead of waiting at home, hoping he would appear soon with his motorcycle/car. Holding hands and talking while walking from the meeting point to the date spot instead of seating awkwardly in his motorcycle seat hoping your chest won't bump into his back.
That's way more romantic and cute and intimate for me. Well, sure you can chat if it's in car but really, nothing beats walking hand in hand while blushing when you meet each other gaze,
Ah, too bad I live in Indonesia.
You were something
But now
You are a mere nothing
But now
You are a mere nothing
No affection
No attention
Not even a slight interest
No attention
Not even a slight interest
Nothing
That's what you meant to him
That's what you meant to him
Lucifer, Mammon, Asmodeus, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Satan and Belphegor. Seven of them, each represents a deadly sin; Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath and Sloth.
"Isn't your life dull?"
Leviathan said to me with a smirk on his face
I shook my head
"No, it's great," I answered him with a smile
"Really? I don't think so," he said as he entered my body
Images started to play in front of my vision
Best friend who got perfect score without even trying
Classmate who was born in a rich family
Cousin who could get all the scholarships he wanted
Sibling who got all of the parents' attention
Friend who can do anything she wanted
"Great life, huh?" he whispered
I squeezed my heart
I took a long breath
"Don't you want to live like them too?"
"No, I'm okay with mine."
He stirred my mind, feeding it with the images
"Really?"
"I-I don't know."
I started to hesitant.
"Don't you want to live like them too?"
He asked me again with the same question
"I do."
He grinned.
He came out of my body.
With my heart on his palm.
"Thanks for your agreement, rotten human"
PS: I rarely envy someone so this was hard? I dunno. I just match it with the quote (lol)
Lucifer, Mammon, Asmodeus, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Satan and Belphegor. Seven of them, each represents a deadly sin; Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath and Sloth.
I want to eat
He said you should be fine
He said you don't need it
I said I am hungry
He looked at me
He sighed
I said I am really hungry
He said okay but only a bit
He said you need to control yourself
I finally got it, now I can satisfy my hunger
But turned out it wasn't enough
I said hey can I have more
He shook his head
He said you have had enough
I said I'm not satisfied yet, I need more
Bring it to me, the rose-colored flesh I love very much
Bring it to me, juicy blood that never fail my appetite
I know I can't handle this gluttony
That's why I heard Beelzebub whispered into my ears
"You've got one big prey there, don't you?"
I ended up eating him
PS: It turned out kinda weird isn't it? I don't know what to write about gluttony:(
Lucifer, Mammon, Asmodeus, Leviathan, Beelzebub, Satan and Belphegor. Seven of them, each represents a deadly sin; Pride, Greed, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath and Sloth.
They are fooled by Asmodeus, they can't think straight.
Lured by Asmodeus, they ate the bait.
They aren't even a thing.
But they devour it without knowing.
A lonely rabbit, craving attention and warmth.
A hungry wolf, satisfying hunger and curiosity.
They reap what they sow.
There's only lust without love.
A rose without petals, only rotten thorns.
Dear Asmodeus, did you enjoy your feast?
PS: I listened to JC Chasez's Schizophrenic while writing this. It was a bunch of sensual and erotic songs (lol) yes, I enjoy it and you should too ;)
Started from buzzfeed video about NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys, I instantly gone into nostalgia. I really liked NSYNC and I took the moment to re-watch their music video again. Not like the other time, I went further now and I watch EVERYTHING that's related to them. That made me fall into them deeper, especially into this guy called JC Chasez.
You don't know him? Please google it so you know but please don't fall in love with him too because he is mine. Yeah I know he is hot af and cute at the same time but don't you dare.
I have always had a crush on him but this time, it's massive. I drive myself crazy for him ((if you get the joke here, you're da bomb)) I even imagined what if turned out he is my future husband (lol) but that won't happen right.
Actually isn't this weird, girl around my age usually likes 1D or 5SOS but instead, I like NSYNC which debut was before my birth and even went hiatus before I could remember anything. But, who cares lah, they are great. Super great that makes you think boy group this days are trash (sorry not sorry).
Okay.
That's it.
Thanks for reading this.
I love you all.
Have I ever talked about love here? A lot I guess (lol)
Idk why I'm writing this now maybe because I just saw this gurl posting a really romantic candid photo with my ex on instagram (lol). And you know what, he still blocked me like dudeee????
I realized, I have never been in love, for real. It was only curiosity of mine. Most of the time I date someone it was out of curiosity. Like, I'm wondering how it would feel if I had any relationship with this guy,
I can't really say I'm in love, I always wonder about my feeling and always ask to myself whether it's love or not. Fun fact, I made my first boyfriend (now an ex) cried because of this. Funny, huh?
I have always been fond of cute-vanilla type of romance story, but I've never been in one. Probably because of my personality. I can't believe in such a vague thing such as love. There's nothing such as pure love. It only exists in a really naive imagination or fiction.
Love is a pain.
Loving someone will bring you suffer.
No pain, no gain, huh?
But nah I will make the lemon into lemonade. Chill.
Have you ever imagined if you were born different? Like, you were born in a really poor family or you were born in a really rich family. You were born as an illegitimate good for nothing child which no one wants or maybe as a really nice and talented child that everyone loves and envies you at the same time.
Lately I've been thinking, what if I were born with a different situation. Like different parents, different environment, different friends and even different God. I would absolutely become a really different person. Maybe I would become the cute and caring hard-working girl everyone adores (laugh) not this ungrateful curious girl who talk sarcasm. Maybe I would become a strong believer of different God not this doubtful yet trying to believe believer of her current God.
People said, it's fate. It's destiny. It's God's best scenario. But, what if it is not? What if it's actually just some random possibilities that no one planned and just coincidentally meets?
To be honest, I don't really like those kind of words, fate--destiny. It may be romantic but don't them make your efforts seem worthless?
Lately I've been thinking, what if I were born with a different situation. Like different parents, different environment, different friends and even different God. I would absolutely become a really different person. Maybe I would become the cute and caring hard-working girl everyone adores (laugh) not this ungrateful curious girl who talk sarcasm. Maybe I would become a strong believer of different God not this doubtful yet trying to believe believer of her current God.
People said, it's fate. It's destiny. It's God's best scenario. But, what if it is not? What if it's actually just some random possibilities that no one planned and just coincidentally meets?
To be honest, I don't really like those kind of words, fate--destiny. It may be romantic but don't them make your efforts seem worthless?
Have you ever been so eager about your dream, you even planned for everything and suddenly something really evil happen? I have. I did. For me the evil was money.
Money is evil,
Money is evil,
Money is evil.
Now, the evil is binding me again from getting what I want. More like, it prohibits me to dream. Maybe I shouldn't dream anymore.
Recently, someone told me I am egoist, for the very first time in my life. I still can relate selfish or egocentric, but dude? Egoist?? Are you kidding me?? I have a really high pride in my personality so this hurts a lot I even cry to my mom (with a lil' bit of shouting) while telling her what happened. My personality, this very personality, is what my parents worked hard on and you suddenly tell me to change just because it doesn't suit you. Yeah yeah, it's me who is in fault, right? Because I'm not a girl who will nods every time you ask me to do something.
Telling me to reduce my egoism so you can get what you want, huh? I think that's egoism. Aah, this is irritating.
Dude, it was the timing. You see, I was watching the performance, I can't miss it not even a second. What? Telling me it doesn't matter? It does matter, I came for the performance, not you. Maybe, I will nod if you ask when it's break or when it's over.
Yeah yeah,
Tell me I'm egoist.
Tell me I'm mean.
Tell me anything you want about me.
Judge me all you want.
I won't care anymore.
Not even a bit.
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